Sincerity is a powerful tool that can be used in relating to one another in personal, casual, or cross-cultural relationships and interactions. Let’s define this tool: “Sincerity is the willingness to be vulnerable, including the self-disclosure of feelings, attitudes, differences, and perceptions, with the goal of resolution and building trust.” Jesus reflects this trait in John 15:15. He says, “No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” Jesus was transparent and vulnerable with his disciples thus building a foundation of trust.
Sincerity is critical to establishing, building, and sustaining relationships. Consider the elements in the definition: feelings, attitudes, differences, and perceptions. Each of these elements alone can be either true or untrue as they are defined by the person that you are communicating with. A person can feel as though they are portraying one thing while the person receiving the information can interpret it as something completely different. Feelings, perceptions, attitudes, and differences should be confirmed before assuming that they are true. The best ways to confirm this is by following the example of Jesus; expressing sincerity by being vulnerable and disclose with tenderness exactly what our perceptions are. Experience has taught me that people will gladly affirm or correct your perceptions when they are expressed with humility and love.
My wife is visually challenged with vision in only one eye that is 20/40. For years, I would turn lights off in areas of the house that was unoccupied. I finally asked her, why did she always leave lights on in unoccupied rooms? She said, “You have 20/20 vision and I do not. When I enter a dark room I am gripped with fear because I cannot see.” I was broken to the point of tears as I was more concerned about the electricity bill than her handicap. The humility of my question and the sincerity of her response resulted in healing a long time wound that I was completely clueless of. This is the greatest example that I can offer. We must proceed with this same humility and sincerity while in relation with one another, following Jesus’ example and putting the heart of others before our own.
Shalom Aleichem and Happy Jerusalem Day,
Dr. Raleigh B. Washington DD, MDIV
Dr. Raleigh Washington co-authored “Breaking Down Walls,” a winner of The Gold Medallion Book Award, and is president emeritus of Rock Church and Promise Keepers. Following Mother Theresa and Desmond Tutu, he was awarded Westminster College’s third Doctor of Peacemaking.
